


tripping but i'm pretending i'm fine

by lesblams



Series: Blam Week 2015 [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blam Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesblams/pseuds/lesblams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Blam Week 2015, Day 2: Canon Divergence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tripping but i'm pretending i'm fine

Blaine fidgeted on the bed as he heard the front door open. His eyes drifted to the clock on his bedside table, which  blared _1:17 AM_ in red light. His first instinct was to chew Sam out for getting home so late without calling, texting, making sure Blaine knew that he hadn’t somehow gotten murdered on the streets of New York. But he knew they had more… _pressing_ things they needed to discuss.

The stairs creaked as Sam climbed them slowly, probably more for Mercedes’ sake than Blaine’s. Sam knew that Blaine went to bed late yet woke up relatively early and had no trouble relying on coffee to give him the energy he’d missed out on. It worked, because Sam often liked to follow the same schedule, but substitute coffee for exercise. Sometimes Blaine thought Sam might actually be insane.

He wasn’t sure what he thought Sam was tonight, but he desperately needed to find out.

The bedroom door opened, and the light from inside spilled out onto Sam’s face, which had been hidden in the darkness of the hallway. Sam stepped inside, blinking, and focused on Blaine sitting on the bed.

“Hey dude.” He seemed to be at least a little surprised that Blaine was still up, and maybe more surprised that it was pretty obvious Blaine was waiting for _him_.

“Hey,” Blaine said, his voice unintentionally coming out on a crack. He cleared his throat. “Where were you?”

He already knew the answer.

“You keeping tabs on me?” Sam half-joked. The other half sounded a little offended, which is not what Blaine wanted at all.

“No, no! It’s just…it’s late, is all.”

Sam nodded, satisfied with Blaine’s answer. “I was with Elliott.”

_Blaine knew._

Elliott had been in New York for about a day, newly back from his yoga retreat. Blaine had tried not to worry too hard about Elliott and Kurt reuniting; even though he and Kurt and Elliott had all worked out their misunderstandings ( _his_ misunderstandings), he still felt a sense of caution in the back of his mind. Turns out that Kurt wasn’t the one Blaine needed to be worried about.

“Did he like his trip?”

Sam nodded. “Says it was a great mind-chakra opener or something. He’s not staying in New York for a long time though. He wants to go to California and audition for one of those competition TV shows. I don’t know why he can’t just do that in New York, but I think the road trip is part of his bucket list or something. He’s crazy. Still a cool guy, though.”

“I had no idea you two were so close.” 

“He and I just got to talking while you and Kurt were being all newly-fiancés and really wrapped up in each other and everything.”

“I wasn’t _that_ wrapped up in Kurt,” Blaine bleakly protested. Sam gave him a look, though, and Blaine had no idea what that mean. “Anyway. Um.”

Sam’s eyes had drifted down to his phone for a split second, but they rose back to Blaine after he stopped himself short. “I, uh. I just thought you should know…I saw you.” Sam stared at him blankly. “With Elliott. Together.”

And then Sam knew _exactly_ what he was talking about, and everything was different.

“Oh.”

The image of Sam, pressed up against the wall in the dark alley outside Kurt’s building, Elliott crowding him and standing between his legs and _kissing_ him, and Sam very much kissing _back_ , was burned into Blaine’s mind and wouldn’t leave. His heart had felt like it had burst, torn between hurt that Sam was keeping secrets from him and anger that Elliott had claimed another man in his life and not jealousy, _not jealousy_ , but he ran home instead of confronting Sam then and there. He had to collect his thoughts. He had to let Sam actually be able to talk to him, and he had to actually listen. He had to not be freaking out.

Which was basically impossible, but he _was_ an actor by trade.

“Blaine-“  
“Were you ever planning on telling me?” Blaine blurted out. Not meaning to let the accusations show through in his voice. Not meaning to let the hurt show through.

Sam sighed, then got up from his bed and crouched onto Blaine’s. “Someday. I still haven’t gotten things all figured out. Elliott was just…easy, you know?”

Blaine didn’t know. He didn’t understand.

“He’s really cool, but I think he got a different idea about me when we first met, so one day when we were taking a break from a jam out session at his place he just leaned over and kissed me. And I liked it. So we-“

“Great!” Blaine said, a little too loud and way too fast. “That’s great. That you’ve started to figure all that out. Has this…been going on for a long time?”

Sam shrugged. “I mean, we’re not dating. It’s been like a few months, and obviously he had that yoga retreat thing, so…but it’s really casual, we’re not dating. I mean, it’s _Elliott_ , you know?” Sam laughed. Blaine laughed with him, but his heart wasn’t in it. Sam could tell.

“Hey, we’re okay, right?” he asked, knocking his shoulder gently against Blaine’s. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you.“

“No, I’m sorry that you didn’t get to tell me when you wanted to,” Blaine said. “I just really thought you should know that I knew.”

“And you were right,” Sam said. “I think if you hadn’t things would have been weird and well, that would be…”

“Weird?”

“Yeah.” They both laugh, and the sound drifts off into silence. Blaine could leave it there, he really could. But with Sam, he always felt a pull toward honesty, and he somehow knew that even if he spilled his guts everything would be okay with them.

“I guess I just thought it would be me,” he said quietly.

Sam paused, letting the words wash over him. “You’re engaged,” he explained.

Blaine cursed his damn heart for lifting at that, for beating a little faster at the idea that, if they had just gotten the timing right -

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

They sat for a moment, relishing the too-quiet of the room that only happened that late at night. 

“I kinda feel like I owe you,” Sam said.

“For what?”

“For having a crush on me first.”

Blaine laughed nervously. “What?”

“I mean, you did beat Elliott to it. And you’re right. If Kurt weren’t here-“

“Sam.”

“I could kiss you.”

“Sam!”

“Come on!” Sam teased. “Don’t act like you’re not a little curious.”

“And you are?”

“Yeah,” Sam said honestly, which shut Blaine up. “I mean, come _on_. You’re…you, you know?”

“That makes no sense,” Blaine said, but there was nothing behind it. Sam was already leaning in closer. “We really shouldn’t. I’m…I’m engaged.”

“It’ll be a one-time thing,” Sam said, his voice dropping lower into a range that Blaine had never heard before, and if that was how he talked to his past lovers then Blaine thought he was going to _die_. “Just a secret between best friends.”

Blaine couldn’t respond. His head said one thing, but his heart said another. Sam answered his thoughts for him.

“Seriously, if you want me to stop, just stop me.” He leaned in ever so slowly.

And god, Blaine didn’t want him to stop.

Their lips pressed against one another, so simple but so tender, and Blaine felt like every single cell of his skin was on fire. He lifted his hand to cup Sam’s cheek, feeling his strong jaw and soft skin beneath his fingers, and idly wondered if this was what heaven was like.

And then Sam pulled away.

The look on his face told Blaine that he knew he had just made as big of a mistake as Blaine had. There wasn’t any going back for either of them, no matter how hard they tried to cover it up, to Kurt, to Elliott, to themselves. 

“Just a secret,” Sam whispered. Maybe to Blaine, maybe only to himself. Blaine nodded either way.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Sam said, standing abruptly and breaking the tension-filled air that had surrounded them. Blaine tilted forward as he stood, the sudden movement driving him off balance on his bed. 

“Okay,” Blaine said, the crack in his voice as obvious as it had been as Sam had first walked through the door. Sam left without saying another word, and Blaine fell back onto the bed.

What the fuck had he just gotten himself into?

 


End file.
